"your twenties can be a rough time. you graduate college. you get a job - not necessarily the one you always dreamed of. you may move to a new city and start trying to establish yourself. but a lot of the time you're just not sure where you're headed - or even where you want to be going. often, the question of 'what now?' plagues us in our twenties like chickenpox. the more we scratch, the worse it itches. the overwhelming vagueness of 'what am i doing with my life?'can crush us like the bully who sat on our head in third grade. our twenties can feel like being smothered in questions, but if we don't ask the right questions, we will forever remain stuck. after years of struggle, studying, searching and being un-glamorously squashed over and over again, here are 11 questions i believe every twentysomething needs to ask to be successful..."
-article by paul angone
(if you want to read the full article, here's the link:
so this article got me thinking. although im nearly in my twenties (21 to be exact), i wanted to see how easily i could answer these questions. even though my twenties are very new to me, i have been feeling the chickenpox coming on - the questions and the deciding (being an "adult" is pretty difficult sometimes). let's see how much of this i can thoroughly, and to the best of my ability, answer.
questions:
1. do the people i'm surrounded by bring me life?
2. who inspires me the most?
3. what are my favorite stories?
4. who would i want to live with me?
5. do i love from my insecurities or do i from my strengths?
6. where am i ripe with talent and where do i quickly deflate?
7. what are my favorite hobbies/things i do for fun, and is there something i can leverage into a career or product?
8. what's the main thing that's holding me back?
9. what are my negotiable and my non negotiables?
10. what breaks my heart?
11. at 29 and 364 days, if i accomplished just one thing, what do i want it to be?
answers:
1. do the people i'm surrounded by bring me life?
definitely yes. i am very good at "deciding" who i want in my life... boys maybe not so much, but friends for sure. i've always been surrounded by the most wonderful people. all different walks of life. there's this quote that i've heard many versions of before, but the one i like most is by jim rohn and it goes like this: "you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." i very much agree with this quote. i very clearly remember after having moved to california, one of the friends i made talked a certain way (mainly said "like"a lot - just think-- valley girl) and whadoyaknow, when i visited my family again my sister pointed it out. it's safe to say i've stopped my bad habit of putting like before everything i say, but it just goes to show that that quote is very much true. not only in the way people talk (although maybe that aspect of it just happened to me) but in the way they act and what they do and so on and so forth. all of my friends are very supportive, kind, fun, and just good people. we have all shared so many memories together and they don't just bring me life, they are my life. not all of them are good role models, and i definitely wouldn't "jump off a cliff" (mom reference) with all of them, but they all have impacted in my life in a very positive way, and they all teach me different lessons. i learn from them in different ways. i'm pretty sure i have the best friends around :)
2. who inspires me the most?
i've been asked this a handful of times throughout the past couple years, and to this day my answer hasn't changed. my sister is my biggest inspiration and my biggest role model. if someone had told me when i was younger that sydney, my younger sister, would be my role model i wouldn't have believed them. up until about the time i went to high school, for the most part we did not get along. we would get into these huge screaming matches which would then turn into vigorous hair pulling and devious boob punching (girls...what can i say). then, if i remember correctly, we started getting close my sophomore year of high school - which couldn't have come at a better time because i had my first boyfriend junior year, and without her i don't know what i would've done. she'd be there comforting me after stupid fights and messy breakups - she was always my shoulder to cry on. as the years passed and we both got a little older, not only was she there being the invisible third wheel to my relationships, but she was there to tell me whether or not i was making the right decisions and whenever i did/do something wrong or something i shouldn't have done and she will be there to tell me and help me fix it. she is just the world's best sister and such a great friend. on top of her looking after me (when it really should be the other way around), i look up to her in so many ways. she's so smart, kind, loving, supportive, funny, caring, and passionate about what she wants to do with her life. for a while (at least most of one semester at school) she was studying to become a biomedical engineer (yes... she's that smart), but after really thinking about what makes her happy and what she loves doing, she switched her major to theater. she is so driven in whatever she's doing, and to be so brave and try her best at doing what she loves.. she just amazes me. i'm so blessed to have someone so close to me be so absolutely brilliant. i look up to her in, obviously, more ways than one, and i know that she will keep astonishing me with whatever comes her way next.
3. what are my favorite stories?
well this is a pretty tough question because i have a ton of great stories, but one of the ones i like the most is the story about my last days with my grandmother. after switching from asu to scottsdale community college, i started living with my cousin and his wife. their house just so happened to be a lot closer to my grandma, mimi, than i had been before so this left me a great opportunity to visit her as much as i could. whenever i would get out of school early and didn't have work, i would head on over and play cards with her. most days i would bring in n out which was our favorite - she loved the burgers, i loved the fries, and we both loved the milkshakes. our card game of choice would be spite and malice but sometimes we would play kings in a corner, spit, or go fish. playing cards with her was so much fun, but what i liked the best was when she would tell me stories of when she was younger. the best ones were stories of daddy jim (her husband who i was never lucky enough to have met) because she would always tell them like they just happened and she would have this sparkle in her eye as she sheepishly talked about their adventures together as if they were just boyfriend and girlfriend. she was just one of those lovely people who everyone wanted to be friends with. well, as the weeks went on she became more fragile and more distant. it got to a point where she wasn't strong enough to get out of bed to play cards. and then she started to lose her appetite and trips to in n out stopped. one day all she wanted to do was take a nap so she made some room for me on her tiny bed and we just slept together holding hands. it was days like that that made me wish i had more time with her. then things started to go more downhill. at first it was just forgetting where she put something or that she had just done something, but then it turned into forgetting who someone was and then it turned into her barely speaking anymore. that was the worst. when it dwindled down to those last couple days, that was when it got really tough because we all knew it was almost time for her to go and we wanted to spend as much time with her as we could. one morning she woke up from her sleep and said that she had a dream that she was dancing with daddy jim. this brought everyone, including me, to tears. but in a way it was comforting. all she wanted to do was see him and dance with him again. every day before i would leave i would hold her hand, give her a kiss, and tell her i loved her. and she would tell me she loved me back. the one thing i hated about the last day, was that i didn't know it was the last day. i got there in the morning, joining almost all of my family, and sat in her room just being with her. even though it was a very sad time for everyone, just having all of us there made me a little happy. i don't remember why but i ended up leaving but i did. but before i left i did what i did every time - i held her hand, kissed her, and told her i loved her. and she said it back. i left that afternoon and that was the last time i ever talked to my grandma. i wish i could've been there for her last moments, but i guess it was probably best this way. the one thing that i will never forget though, is when my aunt told me that the last thing she said to anyone was telling me that she loved me. that is a story i will never forget.
4. who would i want to live with me?
hmmm.. well at the moment living with my grandpa has had its ups and downs, but i wouldn't have it any other way. living with him has been great and i'm so glad that we get to spend so much time together. but if i ended up moving out, i would want to live with someone who is very similar to me. i go out, but not a lot. and i'd like to think i'm clean and tidy so i'd want someone who resembles that. i don't think i'll be moving out of my grandpa's anytime soon because i'm quite content at the moment, but when the time comes i have a couple people in mind...
5. do i love from my insecurities or do i from my strengths?
(his explanation to this question is in his article)
i am very sure that i love from my strenghths. i have so much love for other people and i am happy when they're happy. i'd like to think that i care more about others than i do about. i remember when i would go on school trips or vacations when i was younger and my parents would give me money to spend on a souvenir for myself. well, i'd end up coming back with souvenirs for all my family!! i just love to give and love to make other people happy. i'd much rather do something for someone else than have someone do something for me.
6. where am i ripe with talent and where do i quickly deflate?
i will be the first to say i am horrible at math. when i was in elementary school and we were learning multiplication and division and stuff like that i was the master at math. but when x started appearing in equations and it got a billion times harder, that's where i got lost. that is definitely an area of something i quickly deflate in. i am ripe with talent in creating a movie/slide show type of thing. i definitely could improve a lot on that skill, but putting together a disc for a presentation was and has always been my strong suit.
7. what are my favorite hobbies/things i do for fun, and is there something i can leverage into a career or product?
this question brings me back to the previous one - i love making "music videos" for fun (placing a bunch of video clips in a scheme and stringing it together with a song). this has been something i've enjoyed doing for a few years now and it's definitely something i hope i will never stop doing. hopefully this pasttime of mine can lead me down a road into maybe behind the scenes work on shows or movies. that would be my dream job. either that or event planning. this is where i wish i had the drive my sister has because that would help me decide what i should be studying in school.
8. what's the main thing that's holding me back?
the main thing that's holding me back, which is also something that i have to deal with a lot, is fear. i have a fear of failing. i'm scared that if i put myself out there and "go for my dreams" there will be a possibility what i want to happen won't and then i'll just be stuck in this rut. i know i can't let the fear of striking out keep me from playing the game, but to be honest most of the time it does.
9. what are my negotiable and my non negotiables?
some of my negotiables:
- place i reside
- my line of work
- hours in a week i work
non negotiables:
- don't want to work in a desk job
- i want at least some time to myself to travel and just relax
(i feel like that was all job related, but nothing else came to mind!)
10. what breaks my heart?
things that break my heart
- when people are mean to other people
- when people i love are suffering
- when someone dies
- sad movies
- sad music
- when someone tries their hardest at something and doesn't get what they want
- when i can't help someone and they need help
11. at 29 and 364 days, if i accomplished just one thing, what do i want it to be?
it's so cliche, but if i'm one day away from 30 and i could only have accomplished one thing, it would be to make sure that i'm happy.
well, there are my answers! some of them were very tough to think about, so maybe in another couple of years i will come back, answer them again, and see how much i've changed!
hope you enjoyed!
xoxo
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