that kind of day

as i look at the sky through the window above my bed, the clouds are hogging up this could-be sunny sunday, and instead making it a gloomy, cold, almost autumn day. it is currently the afternoon. although if i hadn't been looking at the clock every now and then i probably wouldn't even know what time it is because today has been one of those lazy days - you know the kind? the kind where you roll out of bed when you can't possibly sleep any longer, wear your pajamas all day, and not come out of your little house because you just don't feel like doing anything... that kind of day.

i know some people have to do something with their day or they go a little crazy, and most of the time i think i'm one of those people - but today just isn't one of those days.

we drove from seven in the morning to ten at night to get back home from france just two days ago and i think i'm still recovering from that. i still can't believe our three week vacation is already over! just a few weeks ago i was talking about how fast time goes by, and here i am again asking myself why that is! i only have 23 more days until i'm on a plane back to "reality". 23 days. ugh. sometimes i have to pinch myself that that's really how much longer i have left. anyways....

back to what my blog post was really supposed to be about --- my writing. as i've already mentioned in previous posts, i love writing. i mean, obviously... this is a blog :) it's just a great outlet for me to put my jumbled thoughts down on paper and sort them out so all of you, including myself, can hopefully understand what's on my mind. it's also a great way to keep beautiful memories of mine forever.

well, while i was on vacation, there were a few nights each week where leo and menno would go out by themselves and i would stay home and keep the girls company as they lay fast asleep in their beds. i would browse facebook and twitter as most of my nights usually consist of, but then my mind would wander and suddenly i found myself opening up the microsoft word program on the computer and writing.

here's one of the things that happened to be on my mind...

when your life flashes before your eyes



i think there is too much hype around turning the big 21. other than being able to finally use your real drivers license to get alcohol instead of a crappy fake one, there really isn’t much more to it. turning 16 and 18 were also praised ages, but 21 is said to be the age where you are considered an adult (legally, at least). but i’m 21, and i sure as heck don’t feel like an adult. i still feel like the naïve and innocent 16 year old girl who used to watch full house reruns and hang out with friends scrolling through our crush’s myspace pages. i am nowhere near ready for mortgages and marriage and kids, when i'm still just a kid myself.

 

although i don’t consider myself an “adult”, i did make a big girl decision 8 months ago and i moved to holland! granted, it was so i could be a nanny for a family, and granted, it’s only for 9 months, but it was still a big girl move! with just a month left, my dutch family and i took a vacation to the ever so fabulous, and very much vacation worthy, french riviera! words cannot describe the translucent blue water, the plethora of topless women (and oh boy, do breasts come in all shapes and sizes!), the very forward and hairy french men, or the pizza that just melts in your mouth. one of our stops along our 3 week adventure was to the gorges du verdon. said to be the “grand canyon” of france, this place was unbelievable. to say that it was breathtakingly beautiful would be a major understatement. the water was so turquoise it looked like it was out of a dream.

 

as we drove along the sides of the cliffs cascading down to the river below, i tried to get my mind off of my spinning head and my stomach which i felt was about to jump into my throat. my mind started wandering and i started thinking about what would happen if the car we were to fall off the side of the cliff and we all died. (yes, I always think of the worst possible situations – bad habit.) with the extremely narrow winding roads, it wouldn’t be entirely impossible to accidently move the steering wheel a little too much in one direction and fall to our impending deaths. (just be glad my imagination isn’t too graphic.)

 

what I really started to think about was how people say that when going through a near death experience your whole life flashes before your eyes. but if I were to have fallen off the side of that cliff, what life would flash before my eyes? my terrible choices in boyfriends and my awkward stage where I cut my own bangs? my fights with my sister over stealing each other’s clothes or how i shattered my heel jumping off our roof in hopes of sneaking out? i’m only 21. there’s so much more to this life I want to experience.

 

there are so many more sunsets i want to watch, streets i want to walk on, ice creams i want to lick, things i want to see and do, and people i want to meet. i want to have a family of my own, and go base jumping, and ride an elephant!

 

i think that if the unfortunate happening had happened, and we had driven right off one of those stupendously tall pieces of rock, i don’t think that my life would have flashed before my eyes. i think instead what would have flashed before my eyes would be everything i still want to experience.

 

 

 

xoxo