goodbyes are hard

i've never been good at goodbyes. even if i say "see you later" or "we'll talk soon" instead, it still hits me like a ton of bricks. this wave of emotion rushes over me and there's nothing else to do but to cry.

yesterday my awesome dutch parents threw me a surprise going away party. friends, family, brownies and cinnamon buns included. it was so lovely. just spending time with some of the many people i've become quite fond of while living here made for a great sunday. it was a wonderful afternoon/evening and i was so thankful for everyone being a part of it.

every single person i've met here has changed my life in some way and has become a part of this unforgettable experience, so saying the first of my goodbyes was a little hard...


goodbyes

• goodbye to opa (we didn't speak the same language but we still became friends (and even more importantly..  family) and i will always remember him and call him my dutch grandpa) he gave me a great big lift-me-off-the-ground hug and it was hard holding back tears i just wanted to let fall
• goodbye to rowan (rowan and i became really great friends after the first time we hung out in madurodam, and we always had such a great time hanging out. we have such great memories of fun nights out in amsterdam and in the dunes. it was hard saying goodbye to one of my friends, but it was a little easier than i thought just because i know for sure he will come visit me when i get back to america)
• goodbye to petra (the heineken experience, rome, and paris were just a few of the adventures we shared together. she was my first friend here, and someone i will never forget. we promised to invite each other to one another's weddings so we will see each other someday in the future :))
• goodbye to karin (i met karin because she is good friends with leo and happened to live just across the street. she was always so friendly and made me feel so welcome and at home. one time she saw that i posted on facebook that i was sad that my mom was selling stuff to get ready for the move and she brought me over some nail polish and a sweet card. it's definitely the little things that make me so thankful for people like karin.)
• goodbye to oma (saying goodbye to oma was very hard. she really became a grandma to me. she is the sweetest person and makes you feel so loved. we had a great time together and i will always remember her)
• goodbye to lot (charlotte was our neighbor and although we only spent about a handful of times together, we connected really quickly and she became such a great friend. having tea with her is something i will always remember. i know i will be seeing her sometime soon, and we will keep in touch through letters)

even though i know that i will keep in touch with the amazing friends i made here, it's still tough to conjure up a goodbye. hopefully all the goodbyes i've already made will make tomorrow a little easier... because i know for sure tomorrow's goodbyes will be the hardest. 

"how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

xoxo